Just when I thought God was done shaping me in this season, He revealed yet something else to me. This is a major confession this time so hold on to your hats.
“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.”
“A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand.”
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”
I think y’all get the picture. I mean talk about some hard truths right?? Today a coworker told me that she could never imagine me raising my voice. She continued to describe how calm I am in the classroom. My friends think that I calm, soft spoken, patient, smiling and an easy-going person. I managed to be as a teacher (most days at least ) but this is not how i am as a mother or wife, at least not when it matters the most.
When conversations get tough or when I don't get my way or if there are too many dishes in the sink and the baby needed to be nursed and I’d had enough....then a different unruly person always comes out. This person yells, says hurtful things, cusses, and at her very very worst...throws things. Yes, me. I am the quarrelsome and fretful woman. I wrestle with anger and it took seven years of marriage and eight months of separation to get some sense knocked into me.
THAT’s HOW STUBBORN I AM !
The scripture is full of the dangers of anger. Jesus led me to several reminders yesterday as I repented (again) before Him.
“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.”
“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
“19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
This is the one the nearly broke me...
“Do not make friends with a hot tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered.”
Upon reading that God told me about myself. “That’s you.”
I have been so focused on how I’ve been wronged. I’ve been sending prayer requests after prayer request yet missing the biggest culprit, MY ANGER! Friends in these next weeks and months ahead, as you think of me please pray that I allow shalom to permeate my thoughts and actions....even in the most stressful situations. Pray that in the moments I fail I am quick to apologize and walk humbly.
I am grateful that our God is gracious and merciful.
Thank you, as always, for your prayers. I am blessed by you all.
Frustrated with myself,
The Anonymous Wife,
Check Out Today's Coffee and Conversations: Spiritual DNA https://youtu.be/j28v2ljR83g