I was listening to a sermon recently in which the pastor discussed devotion and divinity. Using scripture he presented that Jesus had the ability to be both devoted and divine. His devotion was evident in the several examples he took to retreat and pray, and also in the desert as he fasted and resisted his flesh. His divinity evident in his ability to perform countless miracles. As the pastor continued he challenged us to assess our motives. Were we focused only on acquiring the divine aspects of being one with Christ negating or neglecting the level of devotion required?
I've been meditating on this for over a week now. Challenging myself to be honest with my motives and intentions. With poor motives it is very easy to become frustrated with certain results, not truly understanding how the process of it all leads to ultimate wholeness. This past year and half I have experienced, what seemed at first to be, failure upon failure. Frustrated, confused, and exasperated I have questioned God many many times.
Moving back in with my parents and taking a slower pace at life, I've had to have a reckoning of some sorts with my youngest self, my purest dreams, where it all began and grew out of. I've been taking long walks, watching the leaves spin in the wind, sitting and breathing; all of it, facing myself, facing my truth. I've been honest with you all before in the realization that I lack trust in God. I will continue to be honest with you as I come to the realization that my intentions have not been about seeking a wholesome spirit aligned with that of Christ's. I like the idea of having a family, I like the idea of being married, I like the idea of being wealthy, I like the idea of being healthy; but if none of that comes with being whole, or if my spirit requires wholeness differently or elsewhere, can I accept that? Can you accept that?
Jesus was fully man. He had dreams, desires, temptations; yet he chose wholeness with our God. This level of devotion brought Him ultimate divinity.
I'm still meditating and spending time with myself, facing myself, opening myself to something deeper. I hope to be devoted to something far greater; dying to myself.
"place where someone has testified:
“What is mankind that you are mindful of them,
a son of man that you care for him?
7 You made them a little lower than the angels;
you crowned them with glory and honor
8 and put everything under their feet.”
In putting everything under them, God left nothing that is not subject to them.Yet at present we do not see everything subject to them. 9 But we do see Jesus, who was made lower than the angels for a little while, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.
10 In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered. 11 Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters." Hebrews 2:6-11
Abundantly With Love,
The Anonymous Wife