I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T

Dear Friend,

A while back a song came out I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T (By Webbie) this would become a theme song and national anthem for women everywhere. If you were in any environment, regardless of race or ethnicity, you could see women rise and quote the words of this song everywhere! While this and a few other songs emphasize the ability for a woman to be able to stand on her own, and not need a man for anything, it also minimizes the importance of the family and how important the submission to leadership is for us. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit (take his leadership) yourselves to your OWN husbands as you do to the LORD." Independence keeps us separate, how can you be separate and walk as one?

There is a governance structure for life in the bible. These guiding principles were given to us to keep us safe, to ensure proper relationship and to set us up our relationship for success. Often we see governance and structure as a problem a nuance, something that is holding us back and keeping us from being “great”. Some of see the bible as a conservative, and it frustrates us because our flesh wants us to live liberally, justified in our own ways. We find difficulty with the word submission, where independence suggests to us to be free from outside control. Submission suggests that we are giving up, ourselves to another person. The truth is that when we are “submissive” we agree to walk in meekness and in humility. It doesn’t mean, we don’t have a voice, or something to say, it just says, “I won’t rise above you, or be forceful or put myself in the position to be disrespectful. I don’t have to parent you, or to become authoritative.” Here is the key to this, that I think some of us women have missed, Ephesians 5:22, asked you to submit to your husbands as you do unto the Lord…. Could our problem with submission be difficult, because we don’t know how to submit to the Lord? We don’t fully trust God, so how could we trust a man? We should have no problem with submitting to authority, if we are living the biblical way.

Another issue is in the past we have submitted to the wrong leadership, so we transfer that relationship on to someone else. I have a gauge or a measurement that I use in order to determine if a man is ready for marriage, He needs to be able to provide, protect, lead by biblical example and to love as Christ loves the church. If that isn’t in place, then he may not be ready (doesn’t mean he won’t ever be ready), and we have to take the blame for putting men in the wrong place at the wrong time. James 4:7 says, Submit yourselves therefore to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you.” Same thing in your marriage, submitting, walking in humility and meekness, helps you resist the devil in your marriage. It says to the enemy I will honor God, therefore I am honoring my marriage. This includes if he isn’t submissive to God (see 1 Peter 3:1) These principles supply you with enough grace to have a successful marriage.

Prayer: Father, thank you for showing us the biblical guidelines for our marriage. Thank you for teaching us how to be good wives and good husbands. Thank you for helping us to understand how to win in our marriages the God kind of way. Forgive us for the times we have not walked in humility in love, our desire is to please you alone. Holy Spirit keep teaching us, In Jesus Name. Amen