Our church just recently finished a 7 day fast. Although, I had done many fast over the years, there was something different about this fast. It was messy. When I say messy, I am not talking about messy, because I had been denying my flesh some of it's daily desires. No, I am talking about I was mess. I felt weak and very vulnerable!! I felt like I had lost control. Thoughts of past hurt, pain, and shame had resurfaced. I found myself just asking the Lord to really, really help, because I was really tired of carrying that weight. I was just laying before him completely naked. I began to think this was an attack from the enemy, since I was fasting.
However, I called one of my Spiritual Mother's and I asked "had she ever felt this way during a fast." She quickly assured me that it was quite normal, and that many of us haven't really been fasting. As I meditate on what she shared with me. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that my mindset for fasting was to get stronger, but that wasn't God's heart for fasting, He never needed me to get stronger in my own strength, He needed me to get stronger in Him, by truly understanding that my weaknesses when submitted to Him equaled strength.
Isaiah 58:6-11 King James Version (KJV)
6 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?
8 Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward.
9 Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;
10 And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noon day:
11 And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.