It Doesn't Matter by LMJ
I remember when I was a little kid, it always seemed like I was picked last. I was not very good in sports so I wasn't chosen first, I was chosen last. I remember those feelings when we would be standing in line, waiting on the person who was the captain to choose which team you were to be on. I always hoped that someone would pick or choose me first, and in the perfect story I would tell you that I had, but my truth is I was never picked first, I was always picked last.
And the things I would tell myself; that it didn't matter, that I didn't want to play anyway, that i didn't really care, that I didn't want them to be my friends. But that wasn't my truth, each time I was chosen last, it seemed as if the World was validating that I was nothing, that I would be nothing, that I never would have friends. It was ALL lies, but because I didn't know any better I believed them. The father of lies was coming for my self-esteem because He knew it would cause me to make wrong decisions, get entangled in wrong relationships and never understand my worth. He didn't want to me to realize I had been "chosen". It seemed as if everyone chosen first was more important that me, I would take that attitude into many areas of my life, to find out later I had been deceived.
The first time the phrase “first will be last and the last will be first” occurs in scripture is in Matthew 19:29-30. Therefore, Jesus explains by using a parable about a vineyard owner who hires some laborers in the morning to work his vineyard. Throughout the day he continues hiring others to work the vineyard. Finally, Jesus repeats the statement “the first will be last and the last will be first” for emphasis. At the end of the parable the phrase is actually reversed. Every time I read this story, I am encouraged and reminded, it doesn't matter how or when I was picked because I am chosen. God chose me for special purpose and in His Kingdom, order doesn't matter. His love for me matters, his Grace towards me matter, His plans for me matter because I am His choice! My friend, it's a matter of choice. I am God's choice. And as I have grown wiser and realized the redemptive love of my savior, I know now that I am chosen NO MATTER WHAT! And when old familiar feelings try to arise and tell me, that I haven't been "picked" yet. I remind it, I don't have to be picked, because I am Chosen.
Chosen By God,